思想出軌

今天看到一篇blog,題目是“My little‘hidden’story”,是一位女孩講述她自己的情史‧我不知道故事的真實性,但我想藉這個故事說一說我對這種戀請的想法‧

在故事裡,她不斷提到他們是相愛的‧

“Although both of us were attached with a partner, although both of us treating each other as‘part-timer’,somehow I really fall for this guy‧My six sence was telling me that he share the same sentimental too‧”

“I can't force myself to let him go,I can't accept the facts that he actually belong to someone else forever and can never be mine‧Although I'm attached,I'm prepared actually let go my current boyfriend for him‧He asked me to let go our relationship because though he loves me and not willing to let me go but he don't wanna see me suffer‧He knows he can't meet me at times that I might need him most,he cannot see me everyday,he cannot go tour with me and accompany me during my birthday/sat/sun/public holiday etc‧He added‘Love is love and nothing else‧Love can't compare to the hardship that his wife had gone through with him’‧I agree with that but in the end,we still can't let each other go‧”

這種情形經常發生在第三者是女性,出軌的是丈夫身上‧其實是男人的都會這樣告訴另外女性,自己愛第三者多過愛自己的妻子,跟自己的妻子在一起只因為責任‧ 為了得到妳,男人是會不顧一切以謊話偽裝自己,以一些小禮物表示愛妳,以甜言蜜語討妳歡心‧如果他是真心愛妳,為何他會捨得讓妳獨守空房?為何他可以忍受 妳一個人孤獨的生活?如果他要為他的妻子負責任,難道他對妳就沒有任何責任嗎?如果他是心疼妳的話,他應該近早離開妳,讓妳尋找真正屬於妳的辛福;或者離 開他的妻子,讓妳擁有他‧

如果同樣的情形發生在妻子身上的話,通常她會主動中斷這種關係,如果她已經有了孩子‧我想這是出自於母愛的關係‧

其實這種情形也會發生在我的身上‧

我是一個很怕孤單的人,每當我自己一個人沒事幹的時候,空虛、寂寞、無助、徬徨等感覺就會有如驚濤駭浪般把我淹沒,每個星期五的晚上這種感覺更加強烈‧

所以我會希望認識很多女生,這樣當我寂寞時,就可以找她們談電話、用餐、見面談天‧每當我說我需要人陪時,很多人都會問:你的女朋友呢?這還用問嗎?當然是因為她沒空陪我,我才需要人陪嘛‧自從她轉換了工作以後,工作時間不定時,令我很難安排我的時間,我很討厭這種感覺‧

還好我的女朋友允許我跟其他女孩約會,不然孤單、寂寞時,都不知道幹甚麼好‧但是當我跟其他女孩約會時,我會自然而然得把這個女孩當成我想要追求的對象‧ 我的意思不是說我會想對這個女孩毛手毛腳,而是我會想對她很好,很關心她,投其所好,做一些東西討她歡心‧空閒時,還會想為她準備生日禮物、情人節禮物等 等,有時候還會想給她一個驚喜‧只要看到她收到禮物那一刻高興得表情,我就覺得心滿意足了‧其實這樣已經屬於思想出軌,出軌的一種‧

思想出軌和忠心伴偶,這兩種思緒把我往兩個相反的方向拉扯,這種煎熬實在難受‧

我想我是一個很需要愛的人‧


相關網址
My little“hidden”story

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Comments

  1. 馮,很高兴认识你。读了你的BLOG,我们好像都想对我们的爱情专一,但有时真的避不得已,无能为力。我是因为男友的背叛,有一阵子感到空虚和寂寞,在好朋友的介绍下认识了“他”。我和五年前相遇,三年前停止联络到现在已婚一年的“他”还在保持联络。想停止又放不下。 你说得很对,他爱我,要吗就应该主动停止我们之间的联络,不然就和我在一起。可是我发现人有一很特殊的爱情观念 - 人自古多情,Everybody knows! I'm serious in both my current relationships and I know the chances of being with him is 0% too. From my judgement, he is serious with me too but no choice, he is married before I contact him back again. Think like what everybody says - It's Fated! Thanks for sharing your story online too. All the best to your relationship okie. Take care!

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